As a huge fan of Paramore I thought I'd share these lyrics. This is 100% my life, extremely apt.
"I'm going away for a while But I'll be back, don't try and follow me Cause I'll return as soon as possible See I'm trying to find my place But it might not be here where I feel safe We all learn to make mistakes And run From them, from them With no direction We'll run from them, from them With no conviction Cause I'm just one of those ghosts Traveling endlessly Don't need no roads In fact they follow me And we just go in circles Well now I'm told that this is life And pain is just a simple compromise So we can get what we want out of it Would someone care to classify, Our broken hearts and twisted minds So I can find someone to rely on And run To them, to them Full speed ahead Oh you are not, useless We are just Misguided ghosts Traveling endlessly The ones we trusted the most Pushed us far away And there's no one road And we should not be the same But I'm just a ghost And still they echo me They echo me in circles"
Songwriters: Hayley Nichole Williams / Joshua Neil Farro / Taylor Benjamin York
Thought #1 I have been having more and more frequent dreams about my parents now - and they are getting much worse. I can remember them all. Clearly I can't escape their bad influence as much as I thought. Not sure what to do.
Thought #2: My ex girlfriend called me an "emotionless robot" and I think that is still the case.
With all the support received from various sources, which I appreciate a lot, my brain doesn't acknowledge this. Its like a wall and I'm jumping up and down trying to see over it. Fleeting glimpses of the other side, but nothing more.
I feel that people see me as ungrateful as I am not saying thankyou or other positive acknowledgements.
Thought #3: My dial is currently set to a default setting as "sad". I don't have a negative outlook on life, far from it, but my setting is lower than the typical default. I only think in the short term.
Conflicting Thoughts - 30 years of Depression, Anxiety and PTSD